March 2008 Archives

...always get me down.

It has been such a crazy week! My stress level has been unusually high and frankly, while I've always been skeptical at the idea of PMS, if it does exist, I definitely had it this week.

Where do I begin this post? I guess I'll just pick up where I left off. Easter Sunday started off nice. Went to church with my brother (Fred) and his family. The plan was that the other brother (DJ) and his family were supposed to meet us there to see Alyssa's Easter performance. I had purposely told DJ et al that the service started at 10AM though it really started at 10:30. I must pat myself on the back, though. They walked in just after 10:35AM, so it worked out perfectly.

At one point during the day, Fred mentions to DJ that he'd received a weird '911' email via Classmates.com from his high school best friend's sister -- wait, let me rewind. DJ's high school best friend = Mario. Mario's sister = Lisa. Lisa emailed Fred to contact her 911. Still following? Well, as is typical with both my brothers, the '911' was not enough to get him to call right away, so close to a week had passed. DJ decides that he would call and see what's going on. Almost an hour later, he walks back in the house and tells us that Mario had passed away. Between the 7 kids (two were with their 'other' parents) and the 7 adults sitting around, no one could speak. I guess it was sort of an impromptu moment of silence in Mario's memory.

It turns out that Mario had cancer. Being a very private person and not the needy type, he kept this to himself. We're still waiting on more details, but apparently he was in Taiwan when he passed away. We just hope he enjoyed his last days.

Mario, you've been missed for many years and we will continue to miss you! You will not be forgotten.

I stumbled across quite an "interesting" article. Apparently they're turning the infamous holiday movie A Christmas Story into a musical! I don't even know what to think. Seems so random. Not sure where it's going to start, but the article claims it will be in full production by the time the holiday season rolls around this year. I think I'd want to see it out of curiosity. I think. Maybe?

I also noticed that Facebook launched a new feature: People You May Know. In a nutshell, they compile a list of people who share several connections with you but aren't on your friend list. My thoughts on this feature? They need to revise the application. Currently, when viewing these users, you have the option to 'Add to Friends', 'View Friends', or 'Message'. They need to add two more choices -- 'I don't know this person (so stop showing them to me)' and 'I know this person but don't like them'. Think that's too much to ask?

I'm still reading the book... slooooowly, but surely. I've been meaning to update you with the play-by-plays. Sorry. Maybe tomorrow!

On a final note, I've been reading a lot about colorstrology. My color and profile seem to match my personality (as I see it, of course). Visit the site and see if your color and profile seem to fit. Think it's accurate?

Okay - I think I've caught up for the week. Have a great weekend, folks!

Let God weigh me on the scales of justice, for He knows my integrity.

I'm working on a project for the J-O-B and I can't seem to dig up the motivation from "inside". I swear, I'm trying so hard that I'm ready to vomit. So I decided I needed a break and here I am. My new motto in life... When life gives you lemons, blog.

I really had a lot more to say in my last blog, but I didn't have much time. First off, some updates on my 101 in 1001 progress!

Carol and I went to an orientation for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. We've decided to register for the San Francisco walk scheduled for July 12th and 13th.

It is a two day walk, targeting a total of 39 miles -- about 26 miles the first day and 13 miles the second. Our decision to participate was completely "selfless" for lack of a better word. Neither of us have knowingly been affected by breast cancer (not directly at least), but we know the statistics. We know the next person could be one of us. It could be someone in our family. It could be one of our friends. And it could be one of you and/or one of your loved ones.

We're looking to raise a minimum of $1800 each as contributions to this cause. The majority of this money will be funded to the breast cancer clinic at San Francisco's General Hospital. There are many other participating cities, so if you're interested, check out the website for information on how you can get involved and help out your local Avon-sponsored breast cancer clinic.

Some facts that I found interesting about breast cancer:

• Every 3 minutes, there is a new diagnosis of invasive breast cancer


• Every 13 minutes, a life is lost to breast cancer


• Approximately 178,480 women and 2,030 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year

Kind of crazy that someone dies every 13 minutes from breast cancer. I never knew how much of a problem it was... that's more than 100 people a day. So sad.

Next Monday, I'll be starting a 9-day Isagenix cleanse. Ever since my first detox using The Master Cleanser, I've been very conscious about the crap in my body. And I mean that in the most literal sense you can imagine.

Lastly, I finally updated my resume for the first time since I'd taken on this last position more than two years ago.

026 | + | participate in a charity walk/run
    1: Scheduled for July 12-13, 2008
031 | + | detox four times (0/4)
    1: Scheduled for March 31, 2008
099 | X | update resume

Easter is here -- finally another excuse for my crazy family to get together. I can't wait. Our family's gotten so big that we decided not to try and go out in public. Ha! After church, we'll just be hanging out at my brother's house driving each other crazy and causing trouble in the privacy of our own home. Good times -- and good food -- guaranteed. Yay!

I guess that's it. I was going to blog a little about the book and how it currently applies in my life, but we can save that one for another day. This blog is way longer than I'd planned for.

Happy Easter all! Be blessed.

I didn't think I'd have anything to write about today, but all of a sudden I'm overwhelmed with random thoughts just racing through my head! It's kind of like when you have dinner with a friend for the first time in a really long time and the first hour or so is filled with half-stories because you both know there's so much to catch up on and you're each spitting out parts of random stories... or does that just happen to me?

For most of the day, I was feeling the same as I was yesterday. Lori hit it on the nose... there's this sort of impending doom in the air. We don't know when it's gonna hit or how hard it will hit... but we're just waiting for it. It bites. I'm walking around on pins and needles and frankly, I feel like I can trust no one.

I had a brief conversation with Judy yesterday, catching up on life and stuff. She recommended that I read a book called Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov. She was convinced I could relate to it. Heck, it was a great title, so I went out and bought it after work.

Iris and I were just talking today about how we no longer have the time to read leisurely anymore, so I felt compelled to take time out today for a little one-on-one time with my new book. The first line of the introduction reads "Why Men Love Bitches is a relationship guide for women who are 'too nice'." Insert rolling-eyes emoticon here. Ha! We all know that's not me. I swear, I almost put the book down... in the trash can.

I decided to at least finish the introduction and give Argov a few more paragraphs to redeem herself. She went on to describe this "bitch" she's referring to in her title.

"The woman I'm describing is kind yet strong. She has a strength that is ever so subtle. She doesn't give up in her life, and she won't chase a man. She won't let a man think he has a 100 percent 'hold' on her. And she'll stand up for herself when he steps over the line."

SO ON POINT! Totally me. Keep in mind that I've always seen these traits in myself and I've always considered them faults and weaknesses! For example, not letting a man think he has a 100 percent 'hold' on me? You mean that's not purely pride and/or my fear of commitment! Who knew?! Argov definitely sugar-coated it nicely for me. She caught my interest again, so I will continue to read. Bravo.

I'll keep you all posted on this read. Could be good. I'll have to save the other random stories for a post this weekend. April just got me hooked on Lipstick Jungle and I need to watch it! This addiction has replaced my Rockstar one... today, anyway.

O... M... G...

Eric Nies?! Say it isn't so. Man, MTV Grind. Whatever happened to that?! Ha!

--------------------[edited]

I didn't really have a good day today. Ironically, I almost always have a good day when I kick it off with a bagel. But not today.

It's not even that something happened. Granted, I found out a friend of mine had to go into surgery all out of nowhere and it freaked me out, but even before then... I just felt like today wasn't going to be my day.

I think people get the wrong idea about me sometimes. See, I'm the type to give 100% of ME in everything that I do. But that does not mean, by any means, that I will knowingly let people take advantage of me. The minute I know I'm being taken for granted is the minute you stop getting what you want or need from me.

Attitudes have changed, my friends. My game face is on.

I've been off the Rockstars for almost five days now. Boy. It's rough. As a result, I'm lacking that creative energy to come up with anything mildly entertaining to write about, so please bear with me. Everything in this post is as random as random gets.

First and foremost, did you hear that both Halle Berry and Soleil Moon Frye gave birth to baby girls?! Awesome, but get this... Punky's daughter's -- yes, DAUGHTER'S -- name is Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg. Is it just me or is that a boy's name??? Talk about picking a name and sticking with it! I'd rather be named Punky. For the curious, Halle's daughter's name is Nahla Ariela. Wonder if she's going to try for a Simba... har har har. Sorry, I had to. Ha!

For the remainder of this post, I've stolen a "meme" from Marjie:
(After returning to blogging after several years, I've discovered I'm a little "out of the loop". I seriously had to look up "meme". For my not-so-webby friends who read along just to amuse me, a "meme" is basically an email forward... via blog. I guess? Haha.)

The rule: Fill and Forward

I AM....
an extremely compassionate and loving person
who, due to highly sensitive defense mechanisms,
pretends I am really proud, angry, and flat-out "mean".

I WANT...
to buy Facebook stock. I think that they will be soon
blowing MySpace out of the water. (see news article)

I WISH...
I didn't miss "SB". (Yes, it's true. DAMMIT.)

I HATE...
when people neither say what they mean nor
mean what they say. I don't have time or
energy for that! HELLO.

I FEAR...
snakes. Yeah, I know... not very original.
Still true!

I HAVE...
to remember to send an email of appreciation
to all the pastors I know.

I SEARCH...
for all the things I know God will give me once
I stop searching. Total Virgo.

I WONDER....
if "Doc" is THE one.

I REGRET...
shutting EyesOfMine.com down just because
she couldn't handle the truth. Uhh... who the
heck was she to me?!

I LOVE...
families that love God. (This one is dedicated
to the Wongs in memory of their loving husband
and father, Edmond)

I ALWAYS...
cry when I watch Armageddon. I'm a true Daddy's
Girl who falls to tears every time Bruce Willis and
Liv Tyler are saying their goodbyes. And I'm not
talking small tears, folks.

I AM NOT...
afraid of commitment. Really. I just don't feel
anyone's worthy right now.

I DANCE...
with no shame and have many pictures to
prove it.

I SING...
in my car while wearing my earpiece so other
people on the road will think I'm on the phone...
and I wonder how many of them know the truth.

I CRY...
mostly because I'm ticked off.

I WRITE...
exactly as I speak. Trust me, if I were to tell you
face-to-face every story that I post on this blog,
there is an 85% chance I would do it verbatim.

I WON...
a bike when I was in Kindergarten. The bike was
three times my size, but I was so proud that I wanted
to show it off. Being the loving brother that he is,
Fred used to ride me to school, ride back home
alone, come back after school alone, and ride me
home. Oh yeah, and it had rainbows, ribbons, and
a basket. Where was the camera when I needed it?!

I AM CONFUSED...
as to why American Idol decided to let the
contestants butcher Beatles classics for a
second week in a row. Sorry, not an Idol-hater,
just a big Beatles fan.

I NEED...
to respond to Cindy's email.
Miss you, Cin.

I SHOULD...
figure out what I'm bringing to the family
Easter BBQ on Sunday. Hmm... what am
I craving???

THE LAST THOUGHT I GO TO SLEEP WITH IS...
him.

Today was Pastor Edmond Wong's memorial service. It was extremely humbling to see all these people come together to remember this man.

Well, in all fairness, Edmond Wong was not your average man. I did a search online to see if I could track down a good photo of the Wong family -- I snagged this one of him and Hosanna (his daughter) from her MySpace page -- and I came across a handful of bloggers who were also fortunate to know Edmond. One blog said "When I hear stories of him, I know he was a great man, an awesome cousin and an even better friend..." and another called his death "the passing of a warrior".

A warrior he was. Definitely. I stood in the San Francisco Christian Center from 11AM to 1PM with unstoppable tears. I don't know exactly why I continued to cry and cry, but I did. I was so moved to see people standing there with me to honor the work and the service of this man. See, with Edmond, his life was never about himself. As Philippians 1:21 says, "to live is Christ", and that sums him up completely -- his living was Christ. Completely.

As several pastors stood at the pulpit and shared a little something about Pastor Edmond, I began to cry more simply because of the commitment these men have made to share the Gospel. For some, like Edmond, their calling was specifically to pursue those who WANTED Jesus the least, but NEEDED Him the most. He was relentless in his ministry in the Tenderloin of San Francisco, reaching out to drug addicts, the homeless, and the ill.

I stand before you (sorta) having been born into a Christian family and still attending church on a regular basis, yet I feel like my walk with Him is still a struggle. The struggle isn't that I lack faith or that I don't believe or that I don't love Him wholeheartedly or anything like that -- my struggle is simply that I feel imperfect. Don't get me wrong, I know I'll never be perfect... but frankly, I should be better than what I am.

A man of God in everyone's eyes, Edmond confessed and repented for the sins of his past every single day. Maybe it was this certain acceptance he had of the things he couldn't change that brought him closer to the Lord. Perhaps if I could come to terms with my daily (yes, DAILY) struggles, I could get out of this rut that I've found myself in.

Let go. Let God.

God bless.

On Wednesday, March 12th, a great man left us.

He is certainly in a greater place where his illness can no longer cause him pain. Despite their grief, his family has been strong and I am in awe.

Rest in peace, Edmond Wong. You will be missed.

Vacations are great and, as much as I love coming back to my beautiful bed, I still wish life was just one big vacation. I don't think I had a lot of expectations for Washington, D.C. except for the fact that Frances scored us a White House tour and that I expected to get extremely drunk at her birthday party. Ha. Both missions accomplished, by the way.

DC was beautiful. I think I expected everything to be ritzy and fancy-schmancy, but while the attractions are well-kept, you can still see how old they are... and it was that much more beautiful. I was in awe to see all these symbols of our nation and how patriotic we can be when united.

I accomplished only a handful of things while on vacation, but my happiest moment was definitely having a hot dog from a cart! I know, not on the list, but maybe should have been. Ha!

006 | + | dine at fifteen restaurants never visited (1/15)
    1: Fogo de Chao (Washington, D.C.)
       OMG. So good!

089 | + | go to ten museums (1/10)
    1: U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum (Washington, D.C.)

087 | + | go to five different states (1/5)
    1: Washington, D.C. [3/5/08]
       We technically also went to Maryland, but only because we got lost.

The more I think about it, the more I realize some of my 101 things to do in the next 1001 days may be harder than I thought! I got some of them partially out of the way, though!

053 | + | buy thirty new CDs (4/30)
    1: New Amerykah, Pt. 1: 4th World War (Erykah Badu)
    2: Discipline (Janet Jackson)
    3: Sleep Through The Static (Jack Johnson)
    4: It Is Time For A Love Revolution (Lenny Kravitz)

087 | + | go to five different states (1/5)
    1: Washington, D.C. (leaving tonight!)

Yay.

For the record, apologies are overrated. Now I remember why I always hesitated to say sorry to begin with! People suck. I didn't mean to throw up on your shoe!!

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as new year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.

2. Stay Focused. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.

3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.

4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.

5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

Start Date: March 1st, 2008
End Date: November 27, 2010

Family-Oriented
001 |   | take dad to a 49er game
002 |   | take each niece/nephew out on a one-on-one date (0/9)
003 |   | take kids to a giants game
004 |   | take parents to a hockey game
005 |   | visit grandmother and grandfather's graves

Food-Related
006 |   | dine at fifteen restaurants never visited (0/15)
007 |   | donate five boxes of "stuff" to the salvation army (0/5)
008 |   | eat a really good banana split
009 |   | eat beef wellington
010 |   | find a local place for good soul food
011 |   | make a hot breakfast... on a weekday [holidays don't count!]
012 |   | make gnocchi from scratch
013 |   | make stuffed crust pizza
014 |   | try out five recipes from the dusty "joy of cooking" cookbook on my shelf (0/5)

Friendships/Relationships
015 |   | ask someone of the opposite sex out on a date
016 |   | go to high school ten year reunion
017 |   | host five dinner parties (0/5)
018 |   | play monopoly with someone... and NOT fight
019 |   | send birthday cards to ten people [e-cards don't count!] (0/10)
020 |   | send flowers to a member of the opposite sex
021 |   | share a snuggle sunday with someone
022 |   | take a friend to chicago

Good Will
023 |   | cook breakfast for someone
024 |   | donate blood
025 |   | give a homeless person a meal [leftovers don't count!]
026 |   | participate in a charity walk/run
027 |   | send a surprise "care package" to someone
028 |   | sponsor a child through worldvision
029 |   | throw someone a surprise party

Health/Well-Being
030 |   | be vegetarian for a week [diet must be vegetable-centric!]
031 |   | detox four times (0/4)
032 |   | drop down two pant sizes (0/2)
033 |   | get a massage
034 |   | get a pedicure
035 |   | go an entire day without swearing
036 |   | go on vacation and don't check email/facebook/myspace/etc.
037 |   | pay off and close two credit cards (0/2)
038 |   | read five books from oprah's book club (0/5)
039 |   | read my bible twenty times [at church and via the internet don't count!] (0/20)
040 |   | save twenty dollars by using coupons in one store visit
041 |   | take a kickboxing class

Photography
042 |   | document an entire day with photographs
043 |   | photograph a sunrise
044 |   | photograph a sunset
045 |   | photograph five sculptures (0/5)
046 |   | photograph someone "famous"

Purchases
047 |   | buy a new car
048 |   | buy a new guitar
049 |   | buy a roomba
050 |   | buy all christmas presents online [wrapping accessories don't count!]
051 |   | buy something vintage
052 |   | buy stock [ESPP doesn't coun't!]
053 |   | buy thirty new CDs (0/30)
054 |   | get a new phone
055 |   | get a TiVo or something equivalent
056 |   | get new glasses

Self-Indulged
057 |   | gamble and win
058 |   | get eyelashes curled
059 |   | get pierced
060 |   | get tattooed
061 |   | learn to drive stick shift
062 |   | learn to play chess
063 |   | make use of snowman-making kit
064 |   | score three bingos in one scrabble game
065 |   | shake the hand of someone "famous"
066 |   | sing karaoke [at home doesn't count!]
067 |   | spend a full weekend in pajamas [showers still required!]
068 |   | submit a photo in a contest
069 |   | take a bubble bath
070 |   | teach someone to shoot a gun
071 |   | use webcam
072 |   | watch a movie trilogy back to back
073 |   | wear a costume for a reason not halloween-related

Site-Related
074 |   | blog every day for a month straight
075 |   | create a favicon for GEMMERZZ.com
076 |   | find a blogger from the same city
077 |   | update bio on GEMMERZZ.com
078 |   | write ten new poems (0/10)

Travel/Sights/To-Dos
079 |   | experience the napa valley wine train
080 |   | get a stamp in my passport
081 |   | go on a roadtrip
082 |   | go rockclimbing
083 |   | go to a comedy show
084 |   | go to alcatraz
085 |   | go to an art and wine festival
086 |   | go to an art gallery
087 |   | go to five different states (0/5)
088 |   | go to four concerts (0/4)
089 |   | go to ten museums (0/10)
090 |   | go to the symphony
091 |   | listen to jazz... LIVE
092 |   | listen to spoken word... LIVE
093 |   | ride a cable car with someone
094 |   | see a cirque show in vegas
095 |   | stay in a five-star hotel
096 |   | take BART to a destination other than SF

Work-Related
097 |   | arrange filing cabinet at work
098 |   | update outlook contacts with mailing addresses
099 |   | update resume

The Grand Finale
100 |   | start a new list of 101 in 1001 on november 1st, 2010
101 |   | give $20 for every list item not accomplished to the church