I Love You, But…
Last week I posted about a weird situation in my love life. A week has gone by and guess what? I think I love the guy. Guess what else? I want to leave it at that and just move on. I know, I know… one step forward, two steps back.
I’ve sort of become a compulsive dater in the last two years after a long-awaited breakup from the ex. Do I love everyone I am dating (or have dated) since the split? HA! No way. In fact, I was with the ex for about four years and only said and felt it in the last year we were together. A few months before we broke up, actually. Coming to the realization that I think I love this one guy is a pretty big deal for me, but it would be unnatural for me to NOT complicate this. You see, I can’t just love him and live happily ever after. I have to make things difficult.
In the last week, I’ve decided that I think I love him and I’ve also decided that I will not be pursuing “more” from him than what we have. We share a great friendship, I think. I enjoy hanging out with him. He’s a great conversationalist. He’s even a great listener and an even better source for knowledge and advice. My biggest problem with the ex was that we also shared a great friendship — a little lackluster in the things that matter to me today (like intelligence and knowledge), but I’d never deny it was a great friendship at the time. We opened it up to more than that and what happened? I lost four years and what I thought was a great friend. I will not risk losing that again. We’re great where we’re at and I’m okay with that.
So yeah. I love you, SB. Truly. But I have no intention of changing anything at all. Not at this point, anyway.
How long before you think my foot is in my mouth?
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