I Give Good Aura.
I went to Target yesterday and noticed that there was a woman following me. She was a young (early 30s) Middle Eastern woman in jeans and a sweatshirt. I wasn’t feeling threatened or in danger, but I was really uncomfortable for obvious reasons. She followed me through the section for greeting cards, then feminine products, that upstairs in the baby section, then the book section, then back downstairs through the section for office supplies and then the jewelry section.
The entire time, I was contemplating in my head as to whether or not I should turn around and confront (and embarrass) this woman. I put my very best face forward, though, and did nothing. I told myself that it’s the holidays and I really shouldn’t be so confrontational.
We’re in the jewelry section and she finally speaks to me.
HER: “Hi, excuse me.”
(I turn around and notice a Target bag hanging on her wrist while her hand is holding a Cinnabon bag… and it smelled good!)
ME: “Hi.”
HER: “God, I’m sorry. It must be so weird that I’ve been following you around! I’m not crazy, I promise.”
ME: (Giggles.) “It’s okay, did you need something?”
HER: “Oh, no! Well, I was actually wondering if you’d be interested in a psychic reading, because…”
ME: “Oh. No, it’s okay…”
HER: “Well see, I’m actually off duty right now and was heading home when you walked in. I noticed you right away because you give off a good aura.”
ME: “I do?”
HER: “Yes, it’s amazingly clear. It’s great because it makes it easy to read and communicate with. Are you interested in a reading?”
ME: “No thank you. I’ve actually got plans…”
HER: “Are you really sure? We can do it here if you want, right now.”
ME: “I appreciate it, but I’m running a little late already…”
HER: “Here’s the thing. I can tell that you’re extremely confused about your love life and we can find out more if you’d like.”
ME: (Jaw dropped, but laughing.) “Wow. Well, I really can’t — I’m so sorry.”
HER: “It’s okay. Here’s my business card and let me write my hours on there if you change your mind.”
HER: (Writing.) “I need to run and pick up my kids. Have a good day!”
ME: “Thanks!”
Man. Am I that obvious? Is my heart on my sleeve?
