No, no… I’m kidding. Sort of.

Ever since I was a child, it was clear that I had a competitive nature. I am a Virgo. According to AOL’s genius astrological experts, Virgos “are known for [their] ability to be highly discriminating — especially when it comes to matters of personal desire”. Virgos also are very critical and “have the uncanny sense to see what’s wrong with a person, a situation or [an] environment”. Virgos are also perfectionists and, as AOL suggests, the Virgo motto could be “Perfect is almost good enough.”

I can still remember specific incidents in my childhood where I was a very “mean girl”, as probably defined by most people.

I was about 5-years-old and I recall sitting in a shopping cart at a grocery store headed down the cereal aisle. There was another little girl in a shopping cart headed in the opposite direction who was wailing at the top of her lungs because her mom wouldn’t buy the cereal she wanted. I thought she was being ridiculous. (Note: My mom NEVER bought me those “sugary” cereals so, to be fair, I didn’t know what I was missing out on.) As our shopping carts passed one another, I stuck my tongue out at her, mouthed the word “BABY”, and motioned like I was rubbing my eyes and crying like she was.

By the time I started school, it only got worse. In the first grade, I had the best teacher ever. (Ms. Smith — I remember her more than any other teacher I’ve had.) She was ill one day and a substitute came that day in her place. I approached her and asked if I could use the bathroom. Now, I have to tell you, I wasn’t a big fan of nor a “favorite” for most other kids, but I was a big hit when it came to adults. I was always very charming and entertaining… basically your typical “teacher’s pet” and goody-two-shoes. (I know, you’re all beginning to hate me because I was THAT kid. If you aren’t feeling this hatred, then you were probably THAT kid, too.) Anyway, I was absolutely shocked when this sick woman told me I couldn’t go to the bathroom. I WAS SIX YEARS OLD!! I asked again. She insisted that I needed to wait until recess. I stood in front of this woman and told her that, if she didn’t let me go to the bathroom, I would pee right in front of her. She didn’t believe me. I showed her.

As time progressed, so did my “mean” nature. Kids can be SO cruel as it is, and I always needed to “one-up” any kid who challenged me. I’m short and am often teased for it. I remember one girl laughing at me in front of other kids, saying “I bet you can’t even reach shelves in your house!!” I, of course, had to come up with something better than that because the kids were laughing at me. What did I say? “At least I have a dad!!!” Yes, I went there — totally unnecessary, I know. Why did I do it? NO CLUE. I just had to take it to the extreme. She cried, told her mom, her mom told my mom, and I got in trouble… big time. I forgot to mention that she was my mom’s best friend’s daughter.

I started my first petition in the third grade. It was a request to have a lady fired at my school’s daycare. I got in big trouble for that one, too.

I could go on and on, really. Just typing this all out, I’m remembering more and more that I’ve done. The turning point to all of this happened in the fourth grade. I was selected to join the Gifted and Talented Education program (G.A.T.E.). My mom didn’t want me to do it and I was not very happy. I still remember why I wanted it SO bad… it was a boy. My elementary school crush was in G.A.T.E. and my mom was getting in the way of my happiness. I convinced her to let me join because “it’d be good for me to challenge my learning”. She agreed but not without explaining to me why she didn’t want me to be involved in the program. She told me, “The more time you spend with people as smart as or smarter than you, the less patience you will have to deal with people who don’t think like you do, who don’t learn as fast as you do, and who just aren’t as intelligent as you.” At the time, I didn’t care… because I got to be with “the boy”.

Fast-forward to years later and my mom’s prophecy became a reality. Well, it had been happening all along, but I didn’t actually see it until I started to work, excel, and move up.

As I began to manage people in the workplace, I realized that I had ZERO patience for stupid people. And by stupid, I don’t really mean stupid. It was those people my mother warned me about. My attitude stood in the way of my success in leading people and becoming a great manager. At the same time, I was taking a class in Developmental Psychology that had opened my eyes in how and why people behaved in certain ways and, more so, how and why I acted the way that I did. This is when I picked up my second major in Psychology.

Luckily, with my early experiences and the knowledge I’ve gained both in school and in the real world, I’ve been able to remedy my “mean” nature. While, by nature, I still consider myself a “mean girl”, I have learned to make it work in my favor instead of against me.

Related posts:

1. Mean Girl?
2. Return of the MEAN GIRL
3. Believe it or not.

It seems so cliché for me to whip out a post dedicated to the new year, but cut me some slack. After all, it’s been 2010 for almost a week now. If it makes you all feel better, I won’t associate this one with the glitz and glory of the new year. I’ll simply chalk it up to a long-awaited (ha!) return of the MEAN GIRL.

2009 was a crazy year. And by crazy, I’d have to say that means that the year involved crazy people. MY life? Not so crazy. Busy? Yes. But not crazy. A struggle? Yes. But not crazy.

In the last few months of 2009, I realized that I was losing myself. I had no idea who the hell I’d become and how I ended up with so much of everyone else’s crap on my shoulders. I think that, in my efforts to stick out a good relationship, I learned that I had a lot of trivial friendships. The people in my life really sucked. For someone with 700+ “real” friends on Facebook, I have a very small number of people who I matter to. Is that wrong? Not entirely. The problem was that the number of people who mattered to me on that same list of Facebook friends was exponentially greater than that number.

2009 was a year of closing doors and letting go. 2010 is all about new beginnings and PROGRESS. I’m wiping my hands clean of the people and things that don’t bring me up… because up is where I want to go.

Things to look out for this year:
    [1] – graduation
    [2] – a career
    [3] – new place
    [4] – the big 30

It’s all a big deal to me. And frankly, a year is really not all that long to try to accomplish all of the above. (Though 30 will happen whether or not I’m ready!) There’s no time for drama, no time for setbacks, no time for bad people. No time for bullsh*t.

Join me for the ride or get the hell out of my way! Call me mean. I like it.

Related posts:

1. Mean Girl?
2. Mean Girl?

by Nikki Giovanni

No related posts.

The last few months have felt like a whirlwind. No, wait. A hurricane. There’s been disappointment, court orders, illness, infidelity, car accidents, heartbreak, moving, fighting, divorce, emergency rooms, surgeries, cutbacks, dropouts, and more. Not the best months of my life by far.

Amidst everything, specifically in the last few weeks, I’ve discovered that I’ve spent too much time investing in the complexity of it all. I’ve decided to step back, see things for what they are, stop trying to understand or change what is inevitable, and move forward.

I’m simplifying things. “It’s not easy, but it is simple.” — House.

No related posts.

You were born on the first day of Summer in 2003, hence your name. From the moment you came into this world, you were absolutely gorgeous. You were this half-Filipino, half-English, fully lovable bombshell and you knew it. People drooled (sometimes even slobbered) over you. Everyone wanted to hold you, kiss you, and make you smile! Oh, that irresistible smile!

Of all the kids, you were the one who fell in love with me just as quickly as I fell in love with you. As a baby, I don’t even recall you ever really crying when I’d kidnap you from your parents for a little while. In fact, I remember a few times when you cried when you had to leave me! For someone who calls herself the world’s greatest auntie, you sure do know how to boost my ego. And at six years old, you still love your little old Auntie Gemma. Funny how things change as you get older — now you’re the one always making ME smile!

I’ll never forget (nor understand) why the easiest way to put you to bed was to turn on the vacuum. I will never stop telling people how you have the best “bed head” I’ve ever seen in my life. I love that you’re such a little fashionista and immediately want to wear everything I buy you. Even more, I love that you compliment my boots, outfit, purse, or earrings every single time you see me. You have this way of making me feel beautiful even on days that I feel beyond fat and ugly.

I love that you call soy sauce “silly sauce” and that the Filipino in you has no problem just having it with rice on a regular basis. I love that you cry every single time that you and Kayla have to say goodbye — it reminds me of a relationship I once had with one of my cousins. I love that you love Snickerdoodles like me and I especially love that you like to eat the outer part of the cookie and give me the inner part. (One day you’ll realize that the center part is the softest and most delicious, but until then, I will gladly continue to eat the centers of your Snickerdoodles!) I love that you’re not shy — you’re the easiest to bring around my friends! Although, there was that one time at Six Flags Marine World where you randomly went up to this couple and asked them for some popcorn. Haha! Thankfully Auntie Gemma always watches you closely. :)

I love that you’re courageous and social, like me. You make friends quickly and you’re not scared to go down waterslides by yourself. You’ve got just enough tomboy in you for a six-year-old — enough to try and wrestle with your brother Anthony.

But ultimately, you’re my girly girl. You like to do your nails, fix your hair, and make sure all your clothes match. You love Barbies and playing dress-up. You even planned a wedding and made sure I got an invitation.

I love you, babygirl. Happy, happy birthday!

Related posts:

1. A Date Has Been Set — June 11th
2. Seems Like Just Yesterday…
3. I’m not fat…

I saw this post by Elizabeth and had to share with everyone.

Pardon the vulgar language. Not my choice of phrasing, but I can’t say it’d have the same effect if it were censored.

No related posts.

I’d be lying if I said that my current “thing” doesn’t suffer from the ex-factor. In fact, I can already hear the sarcastic smirks and snarls that he’d be making if I attempted to deny it. But it’s okay because I admit it and because I know he’s obnoxious only because he’s sooooooooooo in “like” with me. ;)

My last relationship was one of the worst — if not THE worst — relationships in my history of relationships. Mutual friends may be reading this and thinking, “That’s got to be an exaggeration. You guys were so happy.” HA! Well, Let me say that I’m not denying that I was happy at one point, but mostly in the beginning. Big surprise, right?

By the time we made it official, I’d known him and had been casually seeing him for four years. (I was big on “open relationships” in high school. What can I say — I had a lot of energy.) There was a point where we’d stopped talking for a little over a year. It had something to do with my pager. That’s all I remember.

During that time, we’d both become emotionally (but still casually) involved with other people who, in the end, had somehow bruised our pride/ego. (Mine was the one I refer to as Kryptonite and boy did he hurt my pride!) As a result, we both thought we’d changed and wanted different things, and it was convenient for us to have those things with each other. After all, we were such good friends and knew each other so well. Plus, there was some comfort in knowing that your partner cared about you enough as a person and friend to ever hurt you.

We were wrong. Correction — I was wrong — but we’ll get into that later.

As a couple, we were wrong in so many ways. I was the academic. He was not. I had a good (corporate) job. He promoted club parties and was a DJ. All sorts of differences, but it really didn’t matter in the beginning. We felt something and we went with it.

After the second year, there were things that I just couldn’t get past.

• He was concerned about the perception of what he felt about me. In other words, only people close to us knew and saw how he really felt. After all, he had a reputation to uphold. I was too understanding about that.

• He had a lot of expectations of me, but few from me. I did A LOT for him which he recently thanked me for. Unfortunately, after the relationship ended, I honestly felt like I didn’t lose anything. With him gone from my life after a total of almost eight years together, nothing felt lacking.

• He was a compulsive liar. He would argue that statement, but it was true. He was infamous for lying by omission. This was ultimately the reason I cut him off. He didn’t lie to me, but forgot to tell me he’d also been seeing another girl (his current girlfriend) for the last year of our relationship. Oh, wait. I did confront him more than once, so I guess it wasn’t lying by omission after all — just plain lying. It explains why he’d be a good salesman and I used to tell him that all the time.

• He wanted a certain kind of attention — he needed to be needed. He wanted to be ‘jocked’ for lack of a better word. I’m very independent and he hated that I didn’t “need” him. He knew he could walk out and I’d pick up right where I left off. We’d fight and I’d never be the first to call back, etc. (Yes, I’m a bit of a b_tch.) Additionally, you have to know me to know that I’m usually not big on PDAs — with the exception of my current ‘favorite guy’. I also don’t tell you how I feel — I show you. He didn’t like that. He wanted me to WANT to be all over him and around him all the time, but only so that he could feel manly and tell people “She’s clingy” or “She’s too into me” and “Yeah, dude, she loves me and wants to marry me, but you know how it is… I’m just not sure about her…” like he does with his current girlfriend. PLEASE. Not me, believe that.

I could go on and on, but I won’t. I felt like this for the last two years of our relationship and I was absolutely miserable. My nearest and dearest friends knew I was unhappy, but I continued to put him above all else and every time I considered ending it, I’d worry about HIM. Who would do his homework and write his papers for him? How would his parents respond to me leaving? Who would remind him about all his responsibilities and upcoming events? Blah, blah, blah. Then there was the timing. “I can’t leave because his mom’s birthday is next week… then we’ve got that trip to Chicago… then it’s so-and-so’s wedding… then…” So I dragged it out another two years before, like a gift from God, I find out he was with someone else.

Ironically, he did EXACTLY to me what he did to the girl before me, but because of our friendship and closeness, I never imagined he’d have the balls to do that to me. Plus, he had it SO GOOD — I did EVERYTHING for him. But there was no thinking twice about anything. I was gone and have not seen him since the day I found out. Haven’t missed him one day since either. Kind of sad to think of it that way after all those years, but it’s the honest truth.

The worst part is that it’s really messed me up. (Favorite Guy can attest to that.) I’d been with liars and cheaters before, but all of whom I expected that treatment from. And now, I have the hardest part trusting people who swear up and down that they’re looking out for your best interests. He certainly swore it and believe me, my best interests were the last thing he ever cared about.

Image via Olivier GR’s Flickr photostream

Related posts:

1. Feelings.

Out of all my nieces and nephews combined, she is the one that reminds me the most of me — both when I was a child and even now as an adult — and for many reasons.

She’s the tomboy with older brothers who have every desire to prove she’s not a tomboy at all… and that is me.

She’s the tough girl who rarely cries, but who loves wholeheartedly and can be easily hurt without wanting to show it… and that is me.

If you make her cry, she’ll conveniently go to the bathroom or to her bedroom to hide so no one knows… and that is me.

She’s very loyal and dedicated to her friends (the M.A.M.A. crew)… and that is me.

She loves weird food combinations… and that is me.

She always thinks of others (particularly her baby sister) before herself… and that is me.

She’s smart and gets good grades… and that is me.

She thinks boys are gross… and that was me. ;)

I could go on and on, seriously. I see more and more of me in her every day and it makes me smile and worry at the same time. I wish I could make sure she doesn’t inherit my faults, but I realize we all have had to learn on our own.

I love you, Alyssa. You are an amazing kid and you are growing up so fast. While it makes me feel old to see you growing up, I am so happy and so proud of the person you are becoming. Always remain true to yourself and always stand up for what you feel is right deep down inside your heart. You have great instincts and a sincere heart — never question these things.

“Let no one make little of you because you are young, but be an example to the church in word, in behavior, in love, in faith, in holy living.” 1 Timothy 4:12

Related posts:

1. You’re SIX!!
2. I’m not fat…
3. My Nephew is “Fuego”.

Eric and Kaye’s baby shower is THIS Saturday. (Hi Eric.) I’m officially in panic mode, which is typical for me. Any suggestions for baby shower games or icebreakers out there? Please keep in mind that the audience will be, contrary to traditional baby showers, predominantly male. Suggestions are much appreciated! I know a lot of you are mommies, so things that worked for your showers (or failed miserably) would be very useful information for us!

Tomorrow is a huge cleaning day for me — watch out, Mr. Bathroom and Mr. Closet, I’m coming for you. My poor Jack Johnson CD is not likely to survive tomorrow’s festivities. After all, he is my cleaning sidekick. I’ll have to find another artist to abuse for the next few cleaning days to give poor Jack a break.

Alrighty, folks. Must keep working at that list of mine. Busy, busy bee I am.

Related posts:

1. My Impromptu Blog Break.
2. Off to a Good Start!

No, not really — not even close! But based on all the complaints I’ve read or heard since Facebook updated its design, you would have “thunk” (really should be a word, I think) that the new Facebook layout was the 8th plague of Revelation.

A poll was started and hundreds of thousands of Facebook users voted, giving their best possible feedback. I’ve decided to award some of my favorites:

The award for most dramatic goes to…

Well, we’ll all miss you… NOT.

The award for most credible source goes to…

I mean, how can you NOT value what this user has to say? He’s “apsaloutley” vital to this research.

The award for most ironic goes to…

Promotes stalking? Really? Your suggestive girl-on-girl profile picture doesn’t do that alone?

The award for most inspiring goes to…

There’s nothing more beautiful that seeing this phrase next to a picture of your two children. Classy broad.

The award for biggest charity case goes to…

DIALUP?! Really. This guy has no excuse — even my parents have high-speed internet. Facebook is way out of his league as it is. And THAT, my friends, “is the dumbest thing ever!!!!!!”

And finally, the award for just plain funniest goes to…

I felt guilty that I laughed really loud when I read this. Slightly guilty, that is.

All in all, I’m fine with the new layout as though that isn’t obvious enough. The biggest complaint from the majority is clearly is that it isn’t loser — err, USER — friendly.

What are your thoughts on the new layout of one of the many websites designed to consume massive amounts of your time that really should be spent elsewhere? (Makes it harder to answer like that, huh?)

Related posts:

1. Follow Me
2. VACATION, Here I Come!!
3. The Ex-Factor.