It seems so cliché for me to whip out a post dedicated to the new year, but cut me some slack. After all, it’s been 2010 for almost a week now. If it makes you all feel better, I won’t associate this one with the glitz and glory of the new year. I’ll simply chalk it up to a long-awaited (ha!) return of the MEAN GIRL.

2009 was a crazy year. And by crazy, I’d have to say that means that the year involved crazy people. MY life? Not so crazy. Busy? Yes. But not crazy. A struggle? Yes. But not crazy.

In the last few months of 2009, I realized that I was losing myself. I had no idea who the hell I’d become and how I ended up with so much of everyone else’s crap on my shoulders. I think that, in my efforts to stick out a good relationship, I learned that I had a lot of trivial friendships. The people in my life really sucked. For someone with 700+ “real” friends on Facebook, I have a very small number of people who I matter to. Is that wrong? Not entirely. The problem was that the number of people who mattered to me on that same list of Facebook friends was exponentially greater than that number.

2009 was a year of closing doors and letting go. 2010 is all about new beginnings and PROGRESS. I’m wiping my hands clean of the people and things that don’t bring me up… because up is where I want to go.

Things to look out for this year:
    [1] – graduation
    [2] – a career
    [3] – new place
    [4] – the big 30

It’s all a big deal to me. And frankly, a year is really not all that long to try to accomplish all of the above. (Though 30 will happen whether or not I’m ready!) There’s no time for drama, no time for setbacks, no time for bad people. No time for bullsh*t.

Join me for the ride or get the hell out of my way! Call me mean. I like it.

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by Nikki Giovanni

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The last few months have felt like a whirlwind. No, wait. A hurricane. There’s been disappointment, court orders, illness, infidelity, car accidents, heartbreak, moving, fighting, divorce, emergency rooms, surgeries, cutbacks, dropouts, and more. Not the best months of my life by far.

Amidst everything, specifically in the last few weeks, I’ve discovered that I’ve spent too much time investing in the complexity of it all. I’ve decided to step back, see things for what they are, stop trying to understand or change what is inevitable, and move forward.

I’m simplifying things. “It’s not easy, but it is simple.” — House.

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Although I was home in bed on Sunday not feeling too well, I have to be positive and just be glad I was able to catch up on some much needed sleep! I also had the opportunity to study for my midterms.

Monday was a great day because I got to see Favorite Dog after 3 days of not seeing her! Lucky for me, she was just as excited to see me — all crying and whining. Love it.

Tuesday was another cleaning day. It’s so much more relaxing to clean when you’re noticing such great progress. I used to have a mountain of junk I needed to take care of — now I’ve got a speedbump. ;)

I know I normally forget what was great about Wednesdays, but this time I didn’t. First day back in the actual office setting. Felt so good.

Thursday was a little rough because I struggled on my exam. I won’t know how I did until Tuesday, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed. I didn’t feel to good about it, but it is what it is. On the way back from school, I got to take Favorite Dog to the dogpark. I swear, she can’t get enough of that place and, with me back in school, she barely gets to go. Poor baby. Also got to score a lunch date with Favorite Guy. Not too shabby.

Slept in real good on Friday. AWESOME. And went to work. Feels so good to say that! My brother dropped off Summer Bummer because she and I will be spending the whole weekend together. Watch out world!

Saturday has finally arrived and I’m getting dolled up for some quality time with my favorite 6-year-old — favorite for now, anyway… Kayla turns 6 in a few weeks! Then I’ll have two favorites. Anyhow, Summer and I are heading out for some pottery fun at Color Me Mine to make surprises for the fathers!

What are you all up to?!

*This post is a variation of Friday Favorites by Janna. To read my previous posts, click here.

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1. It’s a Wrap! #8 [05.30.2009]
2. It’s a Wrap! #9 [06.13.2009]
3. It’s a Wrap! #7 [05.23.2009]

I found a paper that I’d written that made me cry — and no, not because I’m some amazing writer. I’m certainly not. I cried because of the memory of someone very special to me.

It was January of 1998, only the second day of a brand new year, and I had no idea that this day would change the rest of my life. When night began to fall, the telephone rang beside my bed and I reached over to answer it, not knowing the terrible news awaiting me. My boyfriend Jelani was in the hospital after being shot in the back of the head.

I was only 17-years-old — a senior in high school excited to be graduating in June of that year. Jelani was only 20-years-old with hundreds of aspirations and goals yet accomplished. When he was pronounced dead later that night, I realized the value of two very important things: life and time.

It was at this point when I realized how so many things in my life were unknowingly being taken for granted. In school, I was beginning to fall behind as my graduation date was nearing. My friends and family were suffering from neglect as I spent more and more time with Jelani. My future was stepping away from my desired path as college application deadline dates passed me by. Jelani’s death was not only painful because I had lost someone I really cared about, but it made me realize how short life may be and how little time we may have left.

Although grieving, Jelani’s death was very motivating. I knew I could no longer waste my time letting life pass me by. I had goals, I knew where I wanted to go, I knew what I wanted to be. But I had to start immediately and I had to start quickly. I realized that my future wasn’t going to start “later”, but it would start within days, hours, minutes, and even seconds. It became clear to me that everything I choose to put off until tomorrow will already be a day late. Sometimes I wish I knew how much time I really have left, but it’s impossible. I can only make the efforts and take the initiative to use whatever time I have left wisely and efficiently.

With Jelani’s passing, I was forced to grow up a little more. I had to focus on the goals I had set for myself. I had to live the life ahead of me — long or short — to the fullest and without regrets. I was living life so carelessly, demeaning its value and its potential.

Losing Jelani proved that death can come at any time. How and when I die, I can’t control. But what I’m doing with my life before I die will live on when I am gone. I don’t want to be remembered as having lived a stagnant and immobile life with no direction. I want to always be moving, heading in some direction, focusing on a goal that I have set for myself. Knowing that my life was headed somewhere good would establish a satisfaction in my heart that even death couldn’t take away.

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You were born on the first day of Summer in 2003, hence your name. From the moment you came into this world, you were absolutely gorgeous. You were this half-Filipino, half-English, fully lovable bombshell and you knew it. People drooled (sometimes even slobbered) over you. Everyone wanted to hold you, kiss you, and make you smile! Oh, that irresistible smile!

Of all the kids, you were the one who fell in love with me just as quickly as I fell in love with you. As a baby, I don’t even recall you ever really crying when I’d kidnap you from your parents for a little while. In fact, I remember a few times when you cried when you had to leave me! For someone who calls herself the world’s greatest auntie, you sure do know how to boost my ego. And at six years old, you still love your little old Auntie Gemma. Funny how things change as you get older — now you’re the one always making ME smile!

I’ll never forget (nor understand) why the easiest way to put you to bed was to turn on the vacuum. I will never stop telling people how you have the best “bed head” I’ve ever seen in my life. I love that you’re such a little fashionista and immediately want to wear everything I buy you. Even more, I love that you compliment my boots, outfit, purse, or earrings every single time you see me. You have this way of making me feel beautiful even on days that I feel beyond fat and ugly.

I love that you call soy sauce “silly sauce” and that the Filipino in you has no problem just having it with rice on a regular basis. I love that you cry every single time that you and Kayla have to say goodbye — it reminds me of a relationship I once had with one of my cousins. I love that you love Snickerdoodles like me and I especially love that you like to eat the outer part of the cookie and give me the inner part. (One day you’ll realize that the center part is the softest and most delicious, but until then, I will gladly continue to eat the centers of your Snickerdoodles!) I love that you’re not shy — you’re the easiest to bring around my friends! Although, there was that one time at Six Flags Marine World where you randomly went up to this couple and asked them for some popcorn. Haha! Thankfully Auntie Gemma always watches you closely. :)

I love that you’re courageous and social, like me. You make friends quickly and you’re not scared to go down waterslides by yourself. You’ve got just enough tomboy in you for a six-year-old — enough to try and wrestle with your brother Anthony.

But ultimately, you’re my girly girl. You like to do your nails, fix your hair, and make sure all your clothes match. You love Barbies and playing dress-up. You even planned a wedding and made sure I got an invitation.

I love you, babygirl. Happy, happy birthday!

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Sunday was my Summer Bummer’s 6th birthday! She will get a special post very soon as I skipped out on hers last year. Naughty Auntie Gemma! When my brother and sister-in-law asked her if she’d rather have a birthday party or a family barbecue, she voted for the family. That’s my girl!! I was stoked to spend my day with the gang and their zoo of animals.

Had a GREAT interview on Monday and caught “The Hangover” later that night. Pretty funny movie!

On Tuesday, I brought Favorite Dog to the dog park, but this time with my nieces Alyssa and Kayla. Kayla seems to think she wants a dog, but she’s terrified of them. She had a hard time adjusting at the dog park, so she’ll clearly need a few more months before she’s ready to be a dog owner!

I don’t know what it is about Wednesdays, but I rarely can remember what I do on those days. Haha!

Thursday was Auntie Gemma Day AND Timmy’s 8th grade graduation! Lots to celebrate and, as always, a great time with the family. I also found out that I got the job I interviewed for on Monday. More info to come on all this “work” I’ve been briefly talking about!

Friday was, as usual, a pretty lazy day and spent the evening studying hard for an exam I have on Monday. Kinda nervous!

And now it’s Saturday! I’ve been studying most of the day, but now it’s about that time to get dolled up and head out with my boys for some partying! WORK HARD, PLAY HARDER!!!

Now that I’ve got a steady job, I’ll be able to blog a bit more since I won’t be job-hunting as much! Don’t give up on me just yet, folks! :)

*This post is a variation of Friday Favorites by Janna. To read my previous posts, click here.

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1. It’s a Wrap! #10 [06.20.2009]
2. It’s a Wrap! #8 [05.30.2009]
3. It’s a Wrap! #7 [05.23.2009]

Sunday was my dad’s 59th birthday, so they came with me to church and then we went to brunch at Marie Callender’s. Nothing fancy, but lots of fun!

Monday was Memorial Day and my parents, my brother, his kids, and I went cherry picking in Brentwood. We used to do that all the time when I was a kid, but it’s been at least 15 years since the last time! Lots of fun and lots of cherries. YUM!

Woke up and took Favorite Dog with me for a run at Lake Merced. Spent most of the rest of the day working, but I must remind myself that it wasn’t too long ago that I didn’t have a job. Now, I have one that I can do in my pajamas. ;)

On Wednesday, I also spent most of the day working, but I did get to pick up my nieces and have them with me for a few hours. They crack me up!

Thursday was a big day for me and for Favorite Dog. I promoted her to the “big dog” section at the dog park and, despite her fraidy-cat tendencies, she did start to venture out from underneath me on the bench and play with the big dogs. That evening was the real celebration for my dad’s birthday. We took him to see Teatro ZinZanni in San Francisco. It’s a dinner show full of magic and other circus-like performances. A great show with pretty good food! We had a blast!

I spent most of Friday catching up on work that I didn’t do the previous day, but I also got 4 of 5 of my grades! Three A’s and a B. Naturally, I’m so disappointed about that B, but I did know it was coming. Sigh.

And finally Saturday is here! I’m heading up to Tracy to BBQ with my brothers and the kiddos. Depending on how the day goes, I’m hoping to make my way back to this side of the bay for a bowling party to celebrate Lyla’s “dirty thirty”! It’s going to be a long day, but I’m up for it because school starts again on Monday. Yes, folks — summer school. :(

Hope everyone else’s weeks were great! Still catching up on reading for the last few weeks. It doesn’t help, of course, that every day that I don’t catch up, the posts just keep piling up… but I’m trying!

*This post is a variation of Friday Favorites by Janna. To read my previous posts, click here.

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1. It’s a Wrap! #9 [06.13.2009]
2. It’s a Wrap! #7 [05.23.2009]
3. It’s a Wrap! #10 [06.20.2009]

It’s Saturday, the week’s a wrap, and here are the things that made me smile this week:

Sunday was fabulous because I made it to MY church for the first time in a few weeks. School has been keeping me busy, so it was nice to break away and see everyone. Not to mention, I love The Word. Woot! Also got to make some teriyaki chicken for Favorite Guy.

Monday was great because I had a final at 7:15AM which, as bad as it sounds, was nice because I was home by 9:30AM and had such a productive cleaning day. You guys wouldn’t even believe it… I’m talking a full 8 hours! What a job that was, but at the end of the day, I felt so accomplished.

Oh Tuesday! Another cleaning day, but this time at Favorite Guy’s. I tackled that bathroom of his because it was a bit gross. Typical guy. Yep, two cleaning days in a row. Lucy, you would have been so proud of me! :)

Wednesday was a good day — started off with a trip to the dog park with Favorite Dog. My parents had gone to Sizzler on Tuesday night and when I stopped by the house, they surprised me with an order of grilled shrimp and steak in the fridge. Had it for lunch and was so stuffed that I didn’t eat for the rest of the day. (And I actually didn’t eat the steak… Sizzler makes it dry!)

Took my last final for the semester on Thursday and was excited to be done! Well, for a week, anyway. Got a pedicure. (Had a gift certificate for those of you wondering how a starving college student can indulge in pedicures!) My good friend Jen was also visiting from Hawaii, so we got the girls together for a little dinner, some drinks, and a whole lot of laughs!! Not a bad way to end a semester, eh?

Friday finally came and I spent most of it in bed with my feet up. All the while, MAKING MONEY! Yes, folks. I have a job. A job that pays me while I’m in bed with my feet up. I should add “with my clothes on” for those of you with creative minds. Details will follow in case you’re curious! Also got to spend some QT with Favorite Guy and his brother from another mother, Pete. We rang in Pete’s 37th birthday with bells and whistles.

Now it’s Saturday and I am out and about all day! But where’d the sun go?! Hmm…

Hope everyone else’s weeks were great! Can’t wait to read about them when I have a moment to catch up!

*This post is a variation of Friday Favorites by Janna. To read my previous posts, click here.

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1. It’s a Wrap! #10 [06.20.2009]
2. It’s a Wrap! #3 [03.21.2009]
3. It’s a Wrap! #5 [04.04.2009]

You all know what that means, right? Hell yeah, another award!

Lucy was so sweet to honor me with such a fabulous award — the Awe-Summm Blog Award.

The “rules” for this award are as follows:
List 7 things that make you Awe-Summm and then pass the award on to 7 bloggers you love.
Make sure to tag your recipients and let them know they have won!
Also link back to the Queen that tagged you.

Well the best way to earn an award is to put in a little work… and when that work requires me to tell you all why I’m awesome, I am more than willing to do it.

Haha, I’m really not that vain. Promise! ;)

So here goes — you ready? Take notes!

ONE – I pride myself at being a great sister, aunt, and friend.
TWO – I am the complete opposite of selfish. I give even what I don’t have… and can’t afford.
THREE – I’m actually pretty damn smart.
FOUR – I can change a flat tire without a man, in a skirt, in the rain.
FIVE – I like to shoot guns.
SIX – I will learn to cook your favorite dish just to make you happy.
SEVEN – I have no problem causing a scene if one is necessary.

So whose blogs do I think are Aww-Summm?! I’m awarding: Tina A, Marjie, BIBI, Bingkee, Ria C, Janna, and (of course) Lucy

Pardon the repeats, but when you’re awesome, you’re awesome! :)

Thanks again to Lucy at Lucy’s Life in Suburb World for this award!

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