I Failed…
Yes, I failed my first day of “cutting back” on carbs. I actually failed MISERABLY. The day started off well. I had my usual morning bowl of oatmeal with fat free milk. Lunch came around and I snacked on string cheese and a half cup of Fritos Chili Cheese Corn Chips. Then, around 10PM or so, “boo” and I hit up the drive-thru at Jack in the Box.
1,565 calories and 128g of carbs later*… I decided I didn’t feel guilty. I mean, I felt physically ill. Who wouldn’t?! But I decided that I wouldn’t kick myself in the you-know-what because I failed my first attempt at this. I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotional issues in the last couple of weeks which I’ll talk about in another post when I’m ready, so this will all start to make sense to you all. Like Tina A, I’ve been hosting a pity party, but mine has been going on since January. I’m not proud of it, but I’ve accepted that I can’t change things over night.
As Lucy said, I’m not going to let it stop me. Today is a new day and I’m taking another stab at it. I’m confident I’ll get better.
* These numbers are according to MyFitnessPal.com and have NOT been altered. Although “boo” and I split everything in half, these numbers refer to what we EACH ate, making our grand total twice that. Pretty darn gross, right?
Read MoreTime Flies, I Guess.
Has it seriously been THIRTEEN days since my last post? Dammit.
I wish I had some ridiculous stories to share about what I’ve been up to, but I don’t. I guess I could make something up if it will make you all feel better. Your choice.
Ironically, I have been in deep writing mode for the last few weeks, but have not exactly found (or created) any method to my madness. Now that my sanity level is back over 50% — it’s actually 52% –I’m working on ways to focus on my writing amongst many, many, many, many other things.
First things first, I’ve decided to write a book. Now I’m not promoting the next American Best Seller or anything. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if I write it and it remains stored on my hard drive for the remainder of my life. I will, however, write it nonetheless. I don’t want to reveal too much about it just yet, but rest assured I’ll post updates and will probably ask for some insight every now and again.
Next, I’m working on creating a set of series posts for my blog. I was on a roll with NaBloPoMo and then seemed to abandon the site cold turkey. I blame it on my left-brained nature. I’m very logical and often expect some form of direction in every task at hand. Additionally, I’m just not creative “on the fly”. (Dead giveaway: I’m not writing fiction.) So these series are in the works and will hopefully start in March, if not sooner.
On that note, any suggestions on series that you’ve found particularly successful or just plain fun to do for your blog?
Read MoreMy Impromptu Blog Break.
After a whole month of once-a-day blogging for NaBloPoMo, I ended up taking a month off from the blog world completely. I wasn’t writing, I wasn’t reading, I wasn’t commenting. It wasn’t planned nor was it expected, but it was certainly needed.
I spent the last month or so getting geared up for school to start. Things have been going well so far. It’s still such a new feeling, so there’s a lot of excitement. I wake up eager (at 5AM — yikes!) for my 7:30AM classes and I look forward to being on campus. No, seriously.
I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things, but day classes are a so much more “teeny-bopper” than evening classes, so I’m still adjusting painfully to some degree.
Did you know that, in college, there are still guys who walk their girlfriends to class and then make-out with them in the hallways? I caught myself staring at this one couple and thought, “I think that’s what ‘necking’ is.”
You know those people who go to the movies and, despite the numerous reminders to turn off their cell phones, receive a phone call with a ridiculous ringtone in the middle of the movie? Yeah, they go to college, too. The best ringtone so far was PCD’s “Don’t ‘Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me”… and trust me, you don’t.
I also wish that, when exchanging email addresses with fellow students, I had something “cutesy” like seXXXybabygirl69@yahoo.com because apparently college students still do that.
Sigh… oh, to be a college student again. It’s great. It really is.
Read MoreA Happy New Year Indeed.
This post marks the last of NaBloPomo but, more importantly, of 2008!
The year started off really rough, but started to pick up around July. Life has slowly been on the “up & up”, so I’m very glad the year is over and I have high hopes for 2009! Obviously the biggest change is the fact that I’m officially a full-time starving college student. I’m still adjusting, but am so excited to have school start in just a few more weeks. I’m claiming 2009 as the year of ACCOMPLISHMENT. Can I get an Amen?
I saw this post on Amanda’s blog and thought it’d be a fun challenge to see if I was even capable of answering all these questions. Take a stab at it if you’re up for it!
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1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
I started training with a personal trainer at the gym, went to Florida, went on a family cruise, got a brazilian wax, ate escargot, and saw both my brothers drunk.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I was partying so hard in Texas for New Year’s last year that I didn’t even make a resolution, but I have decided that for 2009, I will be more open-minded.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, my good friend Evalynn had her baby boy this past summer and she’s expecting her second baby next summer!!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, not this year.
5. What countries did you visit?
Mmmm, I’ve only been to the Bahamas.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
I’d like to have more balls in 2009. I can be a coward when it matters.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
01.25.2008 — for personal reasons
06.11.2008 — first annual Auntie Gemma Day
10.04.2008 — Westmoor High School 10-year Reunion
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Deciding to leave the workforce to go back to school full-time.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Trying to handle big things on my own and still dealing with the guilt.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, just the standard cold and coughs.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Stella.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I can only judge my own actions and decisions. Everyone else’s behavior is not my concern anymore.
13. Where did most of your money go?
Debt.
14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our Disney Cruise in November.
15. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Journey’s “Faithfully”.
16. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier!
b) thinner or fatter? Amazingly thinner — I was looking at pictures earlier and it freaked me out how fat I was earlier this year!
c) richer or poorer? Poorer (and unemployed!)
17. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I’d taken more classes this year.
18. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worked.
19. How did you spend Christmas?
On Christmas Eve, I had dinner with my brother’s family at his in-laws, then I hung out with SB. On Christmas Day, we were at my brother’s with my parents and then I went home sick.
20. Did you fall in love in 2008?
YES.
21. How many one-night stands?
ZERO. Woot!
22. What was your favorite TV program?
The L Word and Keeping Up With the Kardashians
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Neh, I don’t bother hating people anymore.
24. What was the best book you read?
Isabel Allende’s “The Infinite Plan”
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Jack Johnson.
26. What did you want and get? What did you want and not get?
I wanted a vacation and I got it. I wanted a new car, but decided going back to school was a higher priority for me.
27. What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn’t watch too many, but Kung Fu Panda definitely was a memorable one.
28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting approved for all the student loans I applied for. That would have been nice.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I threw a party in Burlingame. Dinner at Steelhead Brewery and then drinking and dancing at the Vinyl Room. I turned 28.
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
It will ALWAYS be about the person wearing the clothes, rather than the clothes themselves.
31. What kept you sane?
My friends, my family, music, and writing.
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I’d be lying if I didn’t say Kim Kardashian. Yes, I’m embarrassed by it, but it’s true. I have to admit I got stuck on her show and (gulp) I even read her blog.
33. What political issue stirred you the most?
I think I was focused more on the state of the economy above anything else this year. Was that selfish? Perhaps?
34. Who did you miss?
Everyone back home in Chicago.
35. Who was the best new person you met?
I’d have to say Jocelyn. We met through our mutual friend, Lynn, and it turns out we have quite a bit in common.
36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?
“Let your haters be your motivators.”
37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
From Rihanna’s “Rehab”:
And I’ll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don’t even recognize
The ways you hurt me
Do you?
It’s gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you’re the one to blameAnd now I feel like, oh
You’re the reason
Why I’m thinking
I don’t wanna smoke on
These cigarettes no more
I guess that’s what I get
For wishful thinking
Should’ve never let you enter my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
Cause now I’m using like I bleed
It’s like I checked into rehab
Baby you’re my disease
Resolutions?
Tomorrow is the last day before 2009 and, as a common tradition, many people are making New Year’s resolutions. Mine is quite simple: be open-minded. If you’ve been keeping up with my emotional (and lovesick) rollercoaster, you’ll know that this is going to be a tough goal, but I’m committed to it. Happiness will only find me if I let it.
What is your New Year’s resolution, if any?
By the way, for the many people who are committing to being healthier or to losing weight, here’s a little gift from Baskin Robbins to help get you started. Baskin Robbins will reportedly be giving a free scoop of their new “healthy” ice cream brand (BRight Choices) on January 15th if you can prove you have a gym membership. If I can remember this date, I’ll be in line for a scoop of Baskin Robbins BRight Choices Raspberry Chip Ice Cream… or maybe Pineapple Coconut Ice Cream. Hmmm.
Which of their flavors would you pick?
MEME: Candid Camera!
Jenni tagged me for a fun little meme.
Here are the rules:
1. Take a picture of yourself.. riiiiiight.. NOW!
2. DO NOT change your clothes. DO NOT fix your hair.. Just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.
5. Tag 10 people to do this and leave their pics as a comment (or email me or post on your own blog)!
Lucky for you all, not only am I just waking up and fresh with morning breath, but I’m also sick and suffering a minor Nyquil hangover. I do like, however, that I look 12-years-old! It’s times like this that I’m also glad I got my eyeliner permanently tattooed… makes me look more awake than I truly am.
Now… I’m not sure I actually have 10 people who still blog regularly to tag, but I’ll take a stab at it: Iris, Justine, Ty, Ria, Michelle, Kathy, Tina A, Holden, Bingkee, and Eric.
Whew. That was hard!! Can’t wait to see who, if anyone, participates. Be sure to let me know if you laughed and snorted at your own picture like I did!
Heartbreak or Heartburn.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I have no idea what the heck I’m doing in my life. Well, love life anyway.
I know Cindy hates when I say this, so I apologize in advance, but I truly feel bi-polar these days. I’m literally hot then I’m cold, yes then I’m no, in then I’m out, up then I’m down. (Thanks, Katy Perry.) I’m in love one day and then giving up the next day. Please be assured that I’m just as annoyed with myself as I’m sure you are!!
There’s one thing I know: my exes sure did mess me up good. The last one was especially disappointing because despite my inability to completely trust a man under normal circumstances, we were such great friends so I figured we were equally invested in the relationship. I was so wrong. Now, as a result, I refuse to be wrong again and can’t seem to get myself to take the risk I need to take to see what the next level is.
It really breaks my heart to be so close yet so far. It really does. It hurts me that he’s absolutely right when he tells me I lack faith, though my lack of faith isn’t necessarily in him as a person (which he implies). I lack the faith that it will work because, frankly, my track record hasn’t been very good. How am I supposed to believe it will be different this time around?
A few months ago, a friend of mine was pouring his heart out to me and he was basically in the same situation as I currently am in, but get this — I was the person he was in love with. One of the things he said to me that really shook me up was, “Why won’t you give me a chance? You don’t risk losing anything. I’m the only one who has something to lose in this.” Is it ironic that I feel that that’s me now?
That’s really what I think it is. I feel like I have a lot more to risk losing if I take the plunge and, ultimately, I don’t think I can take another heartbreak in any way, shape, or form. I’m so scared of getting hurt again that the heartburn I’m putting myself through on a daily basis (sometimes hourly, I swear) is the safer bet.
I’d rather be bi-polar in love than broken. Sigh.
A Different Kind of Christmas.
As I’m sure was the case with a lot of people, Christmas was a little different this year probably because of the economy. Not different in a bad way — just different.
Almost everyone cooked instead of ordering food and there was also just the perfect amount of food. Normally, we’d all have leftovers for at least a week and in my house, a lot of times that food ended up getting thrown away.
We stopped exchanging gifts between the adults a few years ago and now only do a $40 White Elephant gift exchange. There are usually a few strange or funny gifts, but it seemed this year everyone invested in necessities and/or items that the givers wanted or needed themselves. Case and point, there were 3 slow cookers in this year’s exchange. Ha! I was the lucky winner of this Hamilton Beach digital beauty
And finally, there were a lot less gifts for the kids who normally would get so many presents that it was overkill. 5-year-old Kayla opened her gifts and threw the biggest fit, crying “Is that all the presents I’m getting???” It was classic.
Was your holiday different this year?
Ayanna’s Lip Lessons.
My goddaughter, Ayanna, learns to smack her lips — from (ahem) the best, by the way.